Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Book Review: Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer

Sweet glittery vampires! This book...well, I have to be kind, don't I?

I'll be honest. I haven't finished it. I'm trying very hard to finish (mostly because I want to return it to Chapters, but that's another story...) but boy does Meyer make it hard.

I've been hauling this 700 + page tome around for the better part of a week and a half and I just can't get into the story. It's long, it's over-wraught with ridiculous emotions that make absolutely no sense and - can I just say - the name Renesmee is quite possibly the silliest one I have ever heard. Mashing two people's names together to create a new one is only awesome if you do it to mock them (e.g. Brangelina); it's rarely going to turn into a good name, as evidenced by Meyer's poor, linguistically-challenged attempt. Most of the characters start calling the poor kid "Nessie" for short. Personally, I would have gone with "Smee", but that's just because I hold a candle for Peter Pan's Smee (and it's fun to say)!

I'm sorry...I'm trying to be nice. It just makes me mad, though. Here was a perfectly nice trilogy of silly, fluffy, teenage vampire romance (fairly certain that's how she sold it to Little, Brown) and she had to go and ruin it by cashing another cheque. You can't convince me otherwise.

Shoulda stuck to three, Meyer. This one's an F for me.

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